what did i do?

what did i do?

argh. why am i so hateful. i hate hating people but i really cant stop hating people who are bound to be hated! i am not a hypoctrite like some people who have two faces and try to be nice for the sake of a clean reputation. when i hate people, i hate them. i do not hide the feelings, i try to suppress them. there is a big difference.

ok. to start of. maybe it is just a misunderstanding. or maybe i am just a complicated person. or maybe i am too demanding. but isn't it for my own good?

firstly, my *** teacher, she is kind and cheerful. but when it comes to classes, all she knows is talk. "maybe we should do this... i'll ask the person to come over... i'll order some materials for all of you..." but in the end, nothing happens. and we have been enduring classes of utter inutility and immobility. we do nothing at all but draw... draw... and draw - by ourselves! i am dying of boredom. others are satisfied but what about me! i am restless and discontented. i am being pulled down by the slowness (mind me, does she progress at all?) of her teaching. no mock exams this year. mr a said that we MUST have mock exam. to no avail. she gives no inspiration. no ideas. no critiques. and i am lost now in my course work. i do not know what to do. will i be able to pull this out by myself? i have no confidence in her. honestly i think she is incompetent. all she does in class is mark her papers or do her own sketches. shit men. and what? she reasoned that they should relieve her of one class just because she is taking a graduation class! she is not doing anything at all! she leaves our class even before lesson ends. she goes to places who knows where. she calls who knows who in her handphone when it is lesson time. i am frustrated as my future is in her hands yet she is throwing it away. not me! her! SUCK! but don't get me wrong. i still like her as a person but as a teacher, i am enraged. i do give hints. i just can't tell it to her face.

secondly, this ***** teacher in charge. why oh why is fate so cruel! i have two ***** teachers in charge hating me! unreasonable bastards! ask as to stay back until seven? my shit! and why do you have to shout at me when i asked you nicely "may i go home" and shouted at me! i am not like the normal tech students that you shout at everday! FUCK YOU!!! i have my own brains and if i have too, i'll use them to defend my dignity! i know i am not 100% faultless but give me some respect as i try to give you some you imbeciles! yes i am restless now a days because you are boring my guts out! it is not only me, most of my peers have the same opinion. just that i tend to express better than them. and also i started giving "attitude". what up with that?! i was just giving the platform to other people who have yet to try. no honestly, besides laziness that was my paramount rationale. also, during activities, she marks her paper! i mean its like saying "i do not care about you and i have found something better to do" shut up! further more, after each session, she will only negative remarks. yes i recorded. she doesn't sing any praises at all! and she keeps on shouting that makes me my eardrums ring for the whole day. her colleague is as worse. this brainless scum (oh no... i'm going to vulgar here) is a replica of the first one. same attitude. but this teacher is less idiotic than the first one. well. a little less. i just hate them both. argh. of course not talking about ms y.

my dislike for my dearest father (teacher) mr s has ceased. thank God! he is the least person in earth you would like if you do not know him well. might as well compare him to stalin and hitler and mussolini. but i think he is the angelic side of these trio deep down there somewhere. when he loves, he loves without question. when he hates, he hates without answers (what the hell that means? i do not know! it just looks metaphorical so...)

can't write all what i want to write here. 1. it is too long 2. it is to extreme. well fot those of you who knows who i am refering to, keep your mouth shut.

"peace'